About Me

Yes, it's Yesi
My name is Yesenia Castelan but I go by Yesi. Yesenia means flower, and flowers are usually associated with being positive. Although Yesenia is a beautiful name, growing up family called me Yesi and when I got into school I realized Yesenia was hard for some to pronounce so Yesi it was. I currently work at a grocery store and my name is the thing I get comments on the most. One day I tried to count and I had about 20 comments in about two hours. One of my most received comment is, “Oh wow your name is Yes..si. It’s yes in two languages. You must be such a positive person.” I always thought it was funny that there is so much positivity associated with my name because I don’t feel positive a lot of the time.

Who Am I
I am a 22 Year old living in Texas. I love to write, listen to music, watch Hulu and Netflix, I love Demi Lovato, Lady Gaga, Ellen, listening to my brother tell awful puns, watching cartoons with my sister, and going on family dinners. I work part time and I have been sick full time. I am ready to move forward and start experiencing life. For seven years now I have been dealing with my mental health. It has become my identity; it is all I know. It started when I was in 7th grade and then my sophomore year of high school my mental health deteriorated. I had to go inpatient to a psychiatric hospital. I ended heading down a road of hospitalizations, tears, and lost hope. It is now four years later from my first hospital stay and I have accumulated my fair share of emergency department and psych hospital stays. I have been diagnosed with borderline personality,bipolar disorder and PTSD. Learning to cope with these conditions has been very difficult for me. There are moments in my life when I feel like there is no hope and life is impossible, but everyday I learn that this is not true. I know it is not easy, but it is possible. I am making progress, but progress is not linear. Progress is slow and it’s sometimes painful. This all a journey for me, a journey to stability.

Journey to Stability
Healing and recovery are a journey. Everyone heals at different speeds and people take different paths. Not everyone’s journey looks the same, but we can learn from each other. I want to build a life worth living where I feel stable. I want to begin experiencing life because when being sick is your full time job and identity you don’t get to. I want to find what fuels my fire, what my passion is and pursue it. I want to find little things to make my everyday life worth living and I want you to join me as I start living, as I find myself, and as I find stability.

What to expect
One of my favorite mantras is , “Everything is temporary” or “This too shall pass.” It helps me get through the intense, uncomfortable emotions and it helps me appreciate and hold on to the good ones. There will be great moments, but they will pass and when they do the bad moments sometimes seem to last forever. It’s hard to believe that they are temporary but they are. I want to show you the ups, the downs, and the inbetweens. It won’t always be pretty, but I want to show you that it’s possible to get through it and how I got through it. Maybe it will spark an idea or maybe just some hope. I want to show my story, my journey. There will be coping skills, me trying new things, venting, motivational writings, and much more.
I hope to see you again!